IF...

Close enough!

If you can keep your head when all about you   

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   [aka mass swim starts]

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, 

    But make allowance for their doubting too;   [conservative coaches say train a year first]

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, [hopefully <= 17 hours]

    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,  ["gentle rollers"]

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating, [you're young/tiny, you recover faster/have a lower center of gravity/less surface area...]

    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise: 

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   [my favorite days are recovery days!]

    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   [TP data OD]

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster 

    And treat those two impostors just the same;   [=teachable moment]

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken 

    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, ["fun adventures" can mean so many things...]

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, 

    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools: [pedicure calluses]

If you can make one heap of all your winnings [desk job]

    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, [IMAZ]

And lose, and start again at your beginnings 

    And never breathe a word about your loss; [: x]

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew [including you, IT Band]

    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   [or 140.6 miles, which ever comes first]

And so hold on when there is nothing in you 

    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’ [...and a lot of Carbopro]

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   [6 bike lengths!]

    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,  [tri hards]

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,  [even if they are in your age group]

    If all men count with you, but none too much; [dongs are in different age groups]

If you can fill the unforgiving minute [...er 6 hours, 30 minutes?]

    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   [23,400* seconds]

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   

    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son! [an Iron*man]