Loneliness and chemical burns
So Belle is touring Europe for work and I am left holding down the fort. Its easy to forget how much other people make your day to day life easier and more fufilling than rolling through life alone. I made belle a promise that when she gets back from Europe I will have the rest of the paint stripped from the bedroom wood trim, and maybe have the walls primered. I have been stripping (lead?) paint every night until my hands can no longer take the chemical burns and am on pace to have the project done.
I am awed by the strength and motivation my father had while when he would stay up to the early hours of the morning working on projects. Recently I have found myself putting in extra hours both on the job and at home. I falter where my father succeeded in his extended work days. After pulling a 30ish hour 'shift' writing 'critical' code a couple weeks ago I returned home around noon with belle. Unline PaGyver my temper was short and I was overly affected by my exhaustion, I snapped at belle while trying unsuccessfully to get some fast food. I don't know how my father did it, but he worked tirelessly on countless projects and never once in my mind can I recall him being in the weakened state I was in. He would work to 2-4 in the morning and then get up at 6 to cook me my standard pancake breakfast. I think I am starting to understand how this was possible. I find myself much more motivated to not necessarily appease belle but to surprise and delight her. I think that love is a strangely strong driving force. I feel that I could continue to strip paint off walls for far longer than I could write code, because the end goal is satisfying someone I care for rather than a slightly larger than normal paycheck.
Belle will be back in June and I know the wood will be stripped by her return. The same way PaGyver knew he would finish the antique baptist church stained glass windows on time. Each chemical burn is a step forward, we are up to the mid room window and she is not yet 1/4 through her trip. The race is on and I will win.
I am awed by the strength and motivation my father had while when he would stay up to the early hours of the morning working on projects. Recently I have found myself putting in extra hours both on the job and at home. I falter where my father succeeded in his extended work days. After pulling a 30ish hour 'shift' writing 'critical' code a couple weeks ago I returned home around noon with belle. Unline PaGyver my temper was short and I was overly affected by my exhaustion, I snapped at belle while trying unsuccessfully to get some fast food. I don't know how my father did it, but he worked tirelessly on countless projects and never once in my mind can I recall him being in the weakened state I was in. He would work to 2-4 in the morning and then get up at 6 to cook me my standard pancake breakfast. I think I am starting to understand how this was possible. I find myself much more motivated to not necessarily appease belle but to surprise and delight her. I think that love is a strangely strong driving force. I feel that I could continue to strip paint off walls for far longer than I could write code, because the end goal is satisfying someone I care for rather than a slightly larger than normal paycheck.
Belle will be back in June and I know the wood will be stripped by her return. The same way PaGyver knew he would finish the antique baptist church stained glass windows on time. Each chemical burn is a step forward, we are up to the mid room window and she is not yet 1/4 through her trip. The race is on and I will win.
posted by MacGyver at
11:29 PM
0 Comments
