BRB Chai

Belle's definition of breakfast:  warm, sweetened beverage with some amount of caffeine.  Solid food optional.  Current drug of choice is Chai Tea latte.

I've been testing homebrew recipes for speedy prep, minimal clean up, and drinkability.  

Here is the front runner.  

• Milk (I tried reconstituting dry milk, but that tasted like watery tea with gross clumps.  Soy would probably work, but I'm collecting these cool glass milk jars for dry storage so Soy got the pass this round)
• Agave Nectar (honey takes too long to ooze.  straight sugar would also work fine except in my world, it is a more stigmatized sweetener)
• Tea bag of some persuasion (I chose Macha green because I have a ton, it makes a dark green flavorful tea with minimal brew time and the puck tea bags save me from straining rogue paper pulp in the drink.  Wasn't really grooving on how citrus flavored teas and milk taste combined.)
• Spice-- this is really flexible.  "traditional" blends tend to use a lot of Cardamom as a base.  Ginger, Cloves, Allspice, Anise, Cinnamon, etc. are fair game.  For the sake of speed, I'm not straining this mix, so keep in mind when selecting spice this drink will be a bit "dirty."  At times, I've dissolved Korean Ginseng tea mix in with the spice for an energy boost.
• Canning jar with lid-- I like wide mouths because they are less messy to fill for other projects.  

1. Fill canning jar 1/3-1/2 with water and drop in a tea bag. 
2. Nuke in microwave (topless!) for 60 seconds +/-
3. Top off canning jar with milk, spice (2 tsp +/-), sweetener (1.5 tbs +/-)
4. Nuke again in the microwave (topless) for 60 seconds +/-
5. Add top and shake like a martini until ingredients blended and desired frothiness is achieved
6. Remove top, fish out tea bag, and enjoy straight from "drinking jar"

Day without MacGyver 3

One thing we have in common is that we start projects with much more alacrity than we finish them.  So I've filled the kitchen table up with yet more "inputs."  It was very windy today, so I bailed on most of the fun yard adventures I planned.

Filled the chicken coop with $11 of pine shavings which turned the tables for beleaguered 2.0.  She had lost some head feathers and looked a little raw, but seemed to be in pretty good spirits.  She has figured out how to use sympathetic Inky as a feathered shield between her and Blinky when things get dodgy.  With shavings spread, there was nowhere our dirt loving birds thought was safe to stand, but 2.0 had made herself at home in the deepest bedded corner.

On the same errand I also discovered Zuke's dog treats make a Chondroitin and Glucosamine supplement treat which I've started feeding to Kai in hopes her luxating patella won't er... luxate so much.  Two treats in, they come stampeding to the kitchen from anywhere on the property any time I move the treat bag to accommodate other inputs .

I was really craving shahi paneer which tops my list of comfort foods.  The problem with Indian Buffet paneer is that either they're chintzy with the cheese or someone fishes it all out before you get there.  So I might have tripled the amount of paneer called for to ensure an awesome lunch and 2 more for work (thank goodness for wide-mouthed canning jars).

I also rendered giant beet into something called Odessa Salad which I found in the Moosewood Cookbook (the only other option was Borcht of which I was only familiar with due to childhood viewing of Rugrats).  You basically bake the beet in foil for 45 mins at 400 degrees.  Let it cool.  Shred it.  Mix it in with chopped prunes, pineapple, walnuts, garlic, and a couple tablespoons of lemon juice.  The bit I grazed tasted pretty decent.

While waiting, I made some lip balm because I seem to have misplaced or dryer-melted every tube of chapstick in the house.  This was a recipe from a book BroEpic gave me for festivus.  5 tb castor oil (was using more for softer consistency), 1 tb beeswax, 2 tb honey melted in mom's mini-crockpot and finished with about 20 drops of peppermint essential oil.  I deliberated dumping some of my favorite/only lipstick (blood red Nars Fire Down Below) in for tinting, but figured if this became a communal pot, that particular shade wouldn't look so swell on MacG.  Incidentally, just applying castor oil is good for temporary ultra glossy lips.  One concern:  the oil is lighter than honey and didn't seem to fully blend.  Guess we'll find out how things turned out when it's chilled out.

I had also been allowing 5 liter "Schmidt" to ferment some seriously shredded cabbage for an indeterminately long time.  So long that I forgot that I had seasoned the kraut with hot pepper flakes for some extra kick.  Instead, I became convinced Schmidt was harboring some weird red acidophilic  bacteria and that the mortician would have to retrieve me from the house in a hazmat suit.  Schmidt and I avoided eye contact for several additional weeks after I began harboring this suspicion.  In actuality, the kraut I grazed while cramming the remainder into a not-wide-mouthed mason jar (grr)  tasted pretty decent.  I suppose we'll draw our own conclusions about whether the hazmat suits are necessary if this becomes my final blog post.  In the future, I probably won't let the food processor shred kraut cabbage.  It was a pain to fish all those tiny pieces out.  As a very tangential aside, I am saddened that the Munich Marathon no longer overlaps with the commencement of Oktoberfest because I was really looking forward to that dubious combination at some point in my life.

I also finished my book club read, Terry Pratchett's The Color of Magic, which I only just now realized I could have watched as a mini-series on Amazon Prime for $4 and had all but 3 hours of my life back.  Although in fairness, it was a pretty amusing read.  A bit too far into the "absurd events coming full circle" Douglas Adams style of plot line for me to relish embarking on a whole series in this vein.  I guess I'm more of a non-fiction gal.  

What's still on the table-- a pie tin because our Hallows pumpkin has been hanging around for quite some time and I learned the hard way that I can't just blithely compost him.  Faux nutella to eventually go with the San Francisco sourdough starter I picked up (but am dubious I can cultivate at stably warm temperatures at present...  maybe in a carefully rigged crockpot...).

Day without MacGyver 1

What's wrong with this picture?

If you said some version of, "OMG, I can actually see most of your kitchen table!"  "Wow, what an immaculate griddle you have on that 1910's Chicago stove,"  "Where are all of the tools?" "Flowers?!... how uncharacteristically romantic," or "dude, that looks like a lot of medications..."  Give yourself a cookie.

Sigh.  MacGyver has been sent to China for 13 days to fabricate software using scraps of aluminum foil, a shoe lace and a paperclip.

Fortunately, his Christmas [sic] present to me arrived before his departure.  It is that nifty copper thing in the foreground, also known as Dr. Alexander's Botanical Vasculum  p.s. its solar charger (which looks suspiciously like a spray painted decapitated lawn path light) allows its preserved moss terrarium to glow in the dark.  tres romantic vasculum-lit dinners of home brew, chips, and guac.

He was also able to suspend my parent's Christmas present, a skillet and matching deeper skillet whose powers combine make Dutch Oven (yes, I know, I too was more familiar with the *other* definition of Dutch Oven before reading Ferriss' 4 Hour Chef).  It is pictured in the background.  Also clutch for perfectly circular hangover crepes after aforementioned romantic dinners.  

Flowers?  OK, so by and large, I miss MacG.  This is why I was crazy enough to buy a house with him and continue to pretend to our friendly elderly neighbors that we are married and thus not living in sin (just dust and dog hair).  However, being a bit introverted and substantially codependent, I hazard that it would be healthy to revisit my roots once in a while and find my buzz even if it isn't a pre-existing mutual one.  On my commute to and from school, I used to trudge past this awesome flower shop in Beacon Hill.  One day, possibly influenced by a girly self-empowerment book or the ambiance of living with 3 estrogen-fueled single roommates, I bought myself a dozen roses.  They were orange which I've always gravitated to, possibly because I was presented with one in a prom corsage.  I started doing this semi-frequently on Tough Days.  My awesome landlord, Gerry even showed up on my birthday with a dozen for me when an aforementioned estrogen-filled roommate insisted I call him to get him to drive in and fix a light bulb.  Did I mention Gerry is awesome?  But I digress.  These were $7 at TJ's and worth every penny.  I've also been fantasizing about swapping out some of the heirloom (aka uber prickly and prudish) roses behind the chicken coop with an Osiria (pictured).  These are hard to find rootstock for, so this might be a multi-month project.  I got intrigued with the concept of "black" roses when a college dorm-mate received a dozen of them one fine Valentine's day (she was goth, not to be confused with the Susie in a fraught relationship with Mick Jagger).  

Pristine Griddle.  Yeah.  MacGyver reminds me to eat and does most of the cooking.  He's not much for multi-tasking, so there's usually a huge mess in his wake.  I learned how to clean as I cook because otherwise I would miss passing time in Home Ec (back when schools could afford such things).  I also learned that plastic cookie sheets should not go in the oven, but in a pinch, are more effective than bomb threats for evacuating the school.  I am down 5 lbs from normal and he's been gone less than 12 hours.  This could be because I took a Valium instead of dinner yesterday.  Or it could be because I ran Rho a casual 3.5 miles today (so as not to violate doctor's mandate not to exercise "strenuously.")  Or because I ate plantains and spinach for breakfast, a chai latte for "lunch," and 2 frozen taquitos and a glass of milk for dinner.  The world may never know.  By the way, yes, the stove works.  It is our only stove.  We cook on it every day.  It isn't for sale; every contractor we've hired has tried to buy it.  It is a pain in the butt to clean.

Meds.  There are three things going on here.
1.  I got sort of infatuated with Traditional Chinese Medicine/homeopathic remedies.  So I started taking Free and Easy Wanderer tea pills for anxiety.  Royal Jelly for an energy boost.  Korean Ginseng tea to replace coffee which I quit a couple weeks ago.  Couldn't tell you whether the supplements amped my octane, or the coffee detox, or the admission I was in a rut and needed to stretch my comfort zone.
2.  I got Lasik yesterday afternoon.  I was nervous.  It went awesome.  I could drive into my post-op the next day and now I cruise around in iconic Ray-Ban aviators and feel like a celeb.  MaGyver hypnotized me the night before, which isn't like "when I clap my hands, you'll cluck like a chicken."  It's more like the sort of positive affirmations sports psychologists and law of attraction devotees use.  This new lifestyle does seem to take a lot of eye drops to maintain, at least in the short-term.
3.  Kai (the 2.5 yr old "pet" Klee Kai) has a bad knee and Rho (the 1 yr old "stud" Klee Kai) likes to rough-house.  I came back from my 20x20 post-op victorious, only to find Kai hopping around on 3 paws again.  She's on anti-inflammatories for the next week which I'm not entirely sure I'll be able to solo administer.  Guess we'll take it a day at a time...

Weekend Cooking with Moosewood

My latest adventure is to attempt every recipe in the Moosewood Cookbook.

At first, I was a little perplexed by Katzen's decision to handwrite everything and include her own illustrations.  Wouldn't it be more Kindleizable if it were typed?  Maybe a high-res coffee table book of the end result we are shooting for so we know what's worthwhile to attempt?

But I eventually concluded that this approach made everything much lower stakes and diy friendly.  There was no Gourmet centerfold taunting you with how messy your creation had turned out.  Everything felt a bit more experimental-- no celery?  that's cool, carry on and see how it turns out.  If you mess up, you're not "wasting" food, you're getting the cheapest cooking training ever from a self-taught pro.  Plus the ease of use features won me over.

• For containing 254 recipes, most draw from a pretty limited set of ingredients which are available even in streamlined SKU grocery stores like Trader Joe's.  Spares you a gianormous, expensive shopping list and gives you a lot of options for cooking leftovers.  
• Ingredients listed in the order you add them in, so you've got a built-in progress bar and don't forget to add some critical ingredient because you were skipping the instructions 
• Optional ingredients and garnish called out as such explicitly
• Requisite skills limited to chopping, boiling, sauteing, stirring

I'm about 6% underway, so if you want to join, there is plenty of time to catch up.  Here are some tips I discovered on the way.

**recipe selection**

1. Lunchables.  It is unrealistic to expect that you will be game for novel cooking adventures after a 14 hour day at the office.  It is also completely unrealistic to expect you will be game for eating any let alone a healthy lunch during your 14 hour day at the office. I found myself gravitating towards soups I could bottle up and reheat at work.  
2. Risk portfolio.  You want to make a couple things so if one is inedible or you're not excited to eat it two days in a row, you don't completely abandon the experiment.  That said, you don't want to pick stuff that you can't parallel process or which require small amounts of entirely different ingredients which are only sold by the bushel.  I usually pick a "comfort food" which I know I'll eat (i.e. Split Pea Soup), a "this ingredient languishing in my fridge, cabinet, counter forever" dish (i.e. Mushroom Barley Soup), some adventurous new hotness which might later graduate to one of the 2 prior categories (i.e. Lentil Walnut Burgers), some easy garnish so that if everything else is a wash, I still feel a sense of accomplishment (i.e. Berry Sauce).  

**shopping list**

• Recipes and their corresponding page number on the top half.  You can fold this part over and forget about it unless you can't find an item and need to see which recipes are impacted. 
• Missing ingredients and the recipe #s which call for them on the bottom half (notice 4 call for onions!)
• Tick marks or other indications of quantity next to them
• Miscellaneous ingredients for other projects/staples on the perimeter like the pre/after thoughts that they are (in this case diy pickles and gladware seedling pots... 5 recipes above required a combined 8 ingredients)
• If it's Saturday, take this to the farmer's market first and see if you can knock the produce items off locally.  Free advertising for Dripstop coffee also available at my Farmer's market.
• If it's a pretty straight-forward list, take it to TJ's for everything else
• If there are semi-obscure spices, oils, etc. (usually misc. additions, not Moosewood) take it to an Albertson's or Ralph's that have more selection.

**Mis en Garde**

Many lessons learned here.

• Tiny $1-$2 spice boxes you get in the grocery > giant sack of paprika you buy on Amazon... unless you really go through a lot of paprika.
• Tiny containers with magnets super glued to the back keep spice in line of sight and encourage you to experiment with it... however, these aren't exactly dark and airtight ideal storage spaces -- in fact, I think I've applied more spice to the floor than to food because of the loose caps.  Work in progress.
• Spices arranged roughly by geographic location.  Hypothetically, I think if I compartmentalized every herb/spice, I should be able to grab a set from a proximal region and end up with authentic Mediterranean/Middle Eastern/Asian/South American/etc cuisine (i.e. garlic, basil, oregano)... more likely brutal if I grabbed all of South America-- chili, cayenne, chili pepper, chipotle...
• Garlic is empty because you will quickly discover it's easier just to buy a bag of peeled garlic on the Moosewood program.  Get a Chef'n Garlic Zoom to save you from endless mincing.  
• Basil, sage, mint, thyme, and cilantro are missing because they are growing outside and are better fresh.    
• Spices (bark, seeds, roots) intensify the longer they're in the mix, so add them first.  Herbs (leaves) can start tasting bitter if cooked too long, so add them towards the finish.  Oh, and if you leave spices in a marinade or sauce, that intensifies over time... so you probably want to eat your Ginger Carrot soup while its fresh unless you anticipate needing to clear your sinuses later.  
• Knives:  Tim Ferriss says real men don't use knife blocks-- bacteria can build up.  I'm conflicted on this because if I leave cutting implements in plain sight, MacGyver reappropriates them for unorthodox uses-- like electrical work, or shellacking the skylights with more roofing tar.  I finally took one of the "good" knives I'd ordered from Amazon out of hiding it from him for the last several months.  He does most of the cooking, so I'm not sure if this affirms my uber witch status or drives home the point that Swiss be damned, we are not chopping firewood with the Victorinox when Belle isn't looking.  It's amazing what you can do with spare magnets from your spice container project.   
• [not pictured] Wide mouth canning jars.  Don't buy these on Amazon because they charge a bundle to make sure they ship without breaking.  Some higher-variety grocery stores and *gulp* Walmart have these for cheap.  I started with the narrow-mouthed ones, because that was all that was stocked on the shelf.  That was dumb.  They are really hard to fill neatly (particularly with boiling hot chunky liquids).  They tend to be "taller" for their proportions, which is all good and well until you want to try canning and realize to cover them with an inch of water you need a very deep pot.  

Buffalo Wild Wheat

It's been a couple months since I ate meat.  A general desire to cut grocery costs, eat more veggies and less adulterated food products, and reduce my footprint collided with some some unanticipatedly graphic slaughterhouse footage in the vegan documentary I'd surfed to on Amazon Prime.  On the whole, I haven't looked back.  If anything, it's nice to have my lunch choices whittled down a bit at the cafeteria.  It's rad not to have a pile of questionably aged meat biding its time in a corner of the fridge.  

That said, The two things I miss from my carniverous days were 1.  bacon (which I sneak by proxy of having MacGyver fry breakfast zucchini hash browns, rosemary sweet potato fries, etc. in his drippings) 2. Buffalo Wild Wings "buffalo" dry rub sauce.  

Fortunately, you can buy the dry rub as a seasoning.  I've taken to dusting grilled tempeh (soy) cubes with it as a neater but just as tasty alternative.  Tempeh has become my default dry rub vehicle because it is one of the few meat substitutes I can find at Trader Joe's which isn't already dolled up as a burger patty, sausage link, etc.  I tried these with Seitan (wheat product), which was expensive.  Seitan showed promise, texture-wise, but I over seasoned the first batch.  A lot of meat products pick up a more intense flavor than their animal peers.  Now if only they'd let me "carry in" for the next BarCraft...

What a crock of... part 1

Inspired by brother Epic's crockpot chili routine, I ordered my own pot as a belated birthday present.

The Greek Couscous I attempted last night was not expressly for a slow cooker.  Yet the garbanzo beans I had soaked overnight tasted raw and I had already started to disassemble ye olde stove to investigate the mysterious burning smell.  Returning to my project this morning, the perimeter couscous and beans had gotten crunchy/chewy with a creamy oatmeal-like center.  I salvaged what I could and added the cold garnish I'd laid away in the fridge (sundried tomatoes, olives, feta, and a fresh picked lemon and batch of oregano).  This is lunch.  The container can then be repurposed to pilfer spent coffee grounds from the office industrial sized carafe to feed our hungry worms.

Crockpot is now crocking a tub of water to loosen up the remainder of the caked on couscous adventure.  Perhaps next time I'll try a safer recipe like soup.

Lazy Sunday

The PaGyver Pack stopped by to play with fire and make some serious headway on the wet room.  MacGyver has more detailed updates but has inhaled a prodigious amount of tar (or Gypsy Den grog) and seems to be making a slow start today.

Last Sunday was particularly cold and we decided to give the fireplace a shot.  I was pleased at the amount of scrap shop and yard wood we were able to dispose of in the process.  I started stacking scraps on the side door staircase leading up to the living room in readiness for the next fire.  By the end of the evening, we had a slightly warmer, slightly smokier front room.  GrandEpics suggested a grate to improve air circulation, so I ordered one on Amazon that rotates the burning space 45 degrees so much of it rests on the back wall instead of the ground.  This should route smoke further up the chimney and expose more hot cinders for heat.  We shall see.  Cleaning up was pretty easy.  I read chickens will sometimes roll in ash as a way to smother parasites in their feathers so I dumped the remainder in their coop instead of experimenting with the trapdoor into the unfinished basement.


The hen house is doing well.  The chickens are big enough to sleep outside instead of needing to go into a dog carrier on the front porch.  They developed a taste for spent brewing grain, so MacGyver indulged them by brewing a replacement batch yesterday.  They looked so cheated when I checked on them that morning I tried letting them sift through the most "done" worm bin.  I'm not sure if they've figured out worms are edible yet as there were still plenty when I took the bin out this morning.  We will need to go snowboarding and reprovision in NorCo soon because they are running low on straw and eat a lot of chicken feed.  I did order some grain seeds which could be used alternately for feeding chickens, people, or beer.  Those will take a long time to grow and probably not support hen appetites though.

The main purpose of that seed order was rhubarb which GrandEpics say makes great pie...  If you're willing to wait the 2 years for the stalks to get established.  The timing should be just right for us as we don't really have an oven to bake said pie in right now anyway.  We do, however, have an awesome diy magnetic spice rack.  The lids turned out to be press on when I was hoping they'd screw on, so there were a few spills.

Also looking forward to a few major appliances.  I ordered a compact dishwasher that needs to be shipped by freight because our counters are too low to accommodate a standard sized one.  We also got a pretty competitive quote for furnace and A/C plus removing all the asbestos duct work, so we'll schedule that as soon as MacGyver saves China and can get off mandatory over time and do whatever prep to be ready for them.

Botany 102

Hidden object game!  Can you find the still-potted rosemary?

Rotate 90 degrees, trim deadwood, and voila!  Replacement for trumpet vine and garnish for Kai's food.  (Kai helped dig up trump stump on far right).  

Also planted 2 avocados (Reed and Hass) in the backyard.  While we had our eye on a Lamb-Hass because it yields monstrously sized avocados in its formative years, these were sold out and it turned out we could get 2 whole trees for 1/3 the price of the illusive Lamb Hass.  

MaGyver dropped in to fill MacGyver's truck with green waste for our field trip to the Prima Deshecha landfill (outgoing truck load 4/10) and jump start two raised beds for herbs and veggies out of salvaged boards in the yard.  Approximately $110 project ($8 of which was pure bull sh*t).    

More documentation to follow if/when things start to sprout.  

Veggies Planted:  

• Sweet potatoes:  Grab a sack from Trader Joe's, cut into halves/thirds, bury in bullsh*t/leaves/nitrogen boosted soil, cover in mulch (partial shade is OK).  
• Spinach/Mesclun:  Scatter each seed package over approx 6-9 sq foot expanse and cover lightly with more of the above.  Make sure to water daily while getting its start.  Once established, "haircut" periodically for salads.  
• Bell Peppers:  bought a started plant.  Provide a support stake.  
• Cherry tomatoes:  bought 2 started plants (a yellow pear and a red cherry).  Provide a support stake.  Research the cool heirloom varieties we beeline for at Trader Joe's.  
• Peas:  scratch with screw, etc. if you didn't start them in a wet paper towel.  Dump them in a trench in front of a wire trellis for them to grow up.  Best if trellis is towards the back of the bed on the north end in order to ensure the rest of the plants get sun (or in the middle, in order for plants to grow up both sides).  
• Marigolds:  Evidently, these tell bugs to GTFO.  
• Chives:  See above, but slightly more edible. 

Herb garden, (shadier, less trafficked corner under the orange tree because it needs less TLC).  This one MacGyver used whimsically patterned river stones instead of mulch to increase heat, retain moisture, and dissuade weeds.   

• Rosemary: remnant from apartment container gardens.  Rocks in rosemary sweet potato fries (a la Clover food truck at MIT).  
• Stevia: remnant from apartment containers.  This stuff is super hardy and sweet!  It doesn't make hard apple cider (aka MacGyver Redbull) taste any smoother, but works wonders in "Nohitos"
• Mint: because we decimated our last apartment mint plant in our Tim Ferriss no-sugar-mohito summer (mint, stevia, limes, rum).  
• Basil: remnant from grocery store TBM run (aka Operation Caprese)
• Garlic:  MaGyver gift from previous visit-- it might or might not be elephantine.
• Sage:  good in stews (because I cook so many of those...)
• Oregano:  Italiano?  idk
• Thyme:  I really don't know, except some kid in my 8th grade class used it with a seafood dish in home ec that won our "Iron Chef" before Iron Chef was a glint in a producer's eye final.  
• Parsley:  last one was never used to garnish anything and eventually went to seed... hopefully destroying the unsettling symmetry of The Park's ferngully below.  

Homework:  water veggies every morning for 3 days straight. Potentially locate onion start bulbs.  Find uses for above before the bumper crop final.    

Also learned:  carotene (vitamin A) boost Koi color.  Tried feeding cooked shredded carrot to the ghostly trio. No bites.  After killing the horsetail, it would be nice to slide some plants into their pond sometime soon.  Perhaps after I convince MacGyver to relocate it to the front porch... 

Vermicompost: Say hello to my little friends!

As you might imagine, space in the weekly waste pickup dumpsters is at a premium.  Our gardening endeavors also demand viable soil and amendments.  

Hence, the "tiny tower" worm condo.  

MacGyver:  absolutely not in the apartment, it will stink!
Belle:  er, there are expensive ones on Amazon that don't...

Our cheap ($30) diy one doesn't stink and can scale.

Materials

• 2 (or more if you home cook for a big wolf pack) stackable storage bins with lids ($8.47 each)
• enough mesh to cover the a bin's footprint ($4.98)
• 4 "feet" to elevate the bottom bin like these plastic curtain mount cradles (approx $5.00)
• 1/4" and 1/8" drill bits + drill
• 1 lb (approx 1000) red wigglers ($27.95)
• couple cups of starter dirt (say from the failed hanging garden of bathalon)
• shredded paper (not the glossy worm poisoning ink kind)

1.  line the top and bottom sides of each bin with 1/8" holes (a/c for worm condo)

2.  cover the underside of each bin with 1/4" holes (elevator shafts)

3.  line the interior floor of the first level bin with mesh (drainage system)

4.  put lid on floor concave side up and add stability feet (sewer)

5.  balance first floor bin on stability feet

6.  fill with starter dirt

7.  watch mail diligently for worms (they die and get stinky if they languish in your mailbox)

8.  add worms

9.  slowly introduce organic matter.  Worm populations can double in 90 days, so expect to scale up.

10.  cover in shredded paper periodically to prevent smell

11.  put second lid on top of first floor

12.  when first floor begins to approach full occupancy, stack second floor directly onto first.  Worms will use the elevator shafts to migrate to the second floor.  

13.  bottom floor should smell earthy and ready to go about a month afterwards (your throughput may vary).  

14.  empty it for use as a "3rd" story.  Place its mesh liner outside of the currently occupied second floor.  

15.  you may notice your sewer filling up (particularly if your condo is located on a grade and fill it with watery coffee grounds).  This is worm tea.  It's like MiracleGro but way better and less chemicalicious.  Use it on your most troubled/prized plants.  

General tips for winning the bet with MacGyver that it won't stink:

• Start with small amounts of less stinky, already broken up food (coffee, tea, juicer pulp)
• Liberally cover with shredded paper whenever things start to look swampy
• Empty sewer early and often
• No animal parts or dairy (worms can eat egg shells, but can't keep up with our 4 a day habit)
• Go easy on citrus (sure, it smells lemony fresh, but if you put in the remnants from juicing an entire tree, it will get really acidic, taste like burning and take a hella long time to eat through)

Sun Tea, Lemonade, Tire Composter

Given the tell-tale signs of a thriving rodent population, I've been anxious to consume seldom-used food items, like sugar and tea.

Sun Tea
Cost:  $1.00/carafe

Steep 6 tea bags in carafe in direct sun until it assumes tea-like hue (approx 3 hours).
Put used tea bags in worm bin

Lemonade
Cost:  $1.50/8 glasses

Drink half of a gallon jug of water, leaving you with 8 cups and a container
Pick ripe lemons off your tree (you need about 20/batch)
Juice lemons - tire compost the rinds
1.5 cups lemon juice
1.5 cups white granulated sugar
8 cups of water
Mix

Tire Composter
Stack any tires the previous owner left you with (2)
Fill with a layer of veggie/fruit matter (citrus b/c the worms don't care for it)
Cover with brown matter (chipper shredder mulch of hideous tree)
Repeat (breakfast grapefruit!)

When we're super sophisticated, we may experiment with watering the compost, stirring it, and infusing it with chicken poop...

Cooking for Chi

Makes less sense for a big dog, but home cooking has cut down a lot on Chi's trips to the vet.

Yield:  about 28 Mini Rounds (14 days for a 9.5 lb dog)
Prep:  30 mins
Cook:  1.5 hours

• Gladware Mini Round 4 oz cups (at least 28) [MR is now a unit of measure]
• 1 MR Green Beans
• 1 MR Squash
• 1 MR Sweet Potato
• 1 MR Zucchini
• 1.5 MR Peas
• 1.5 MR Carrots
• 3 MR Oatmeal or Rice
• 1 MR filled with 3 parts olive oil, 1 part cod liver oil, 1 part wheatgerm oil, 1 part flaxseed oil (ease into this dosage)
• 1 sprig rosemary (homegrown!)
• 1 bulb garlic
• 1 whole chicken (approx 5 lbs)

This recipe evolved out of conversations with a co-worker (thx Connie!) and ideas in The Whole Pet Diet.  The book also has a bunch of supplement recipes for kibble diets and healthy treats, for a less involved cooking experience.   

Rage Quitting Starbucks for Fun and Profit

It turned out to be a mega hassle to get reissued a working Starbucks Rewards card after paying to participate in their pilot program a few years back.  

Thus began the French Press project, which became one of those rare dominating alternatives that is cheaper, more convenient, and healthier.

Cheaper:  $0.93/cup.  Break even:  12 days.  

• French press:  $20
• Bean grinder (optional):  $20
• Snobby non-SBUX beans:  $30 (32 cups)
• 2 cans of whip cream, a couple cups of sugar (only during transition process)

More convenient:  

• Don't need to dress and leave the house
• No replacing leashes Kai chews through while tied to the trashcan outside 
• Less coffee cup waste and frequent trips to trash chute
• More coffee grounds for compost/vermiculture adventures 

Healthier:  

• Decreased refined sugar consumption
• Increased Kai's walk length and variety  (no need to beeline for Starbucks and hurry home to avoid spilling)
• Rad experiments with different low cal condiments (stevia, cinnamon, nutmeg, etc.)